“Self-care is not about self-indulgence, it’s about self-preservation,” Audrey Lorde.
“You can’t pour from an empty cup.”
Empathy, n. the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.
This also includes reflecting on your own life, and giving yourself love and understanding.
Empathy takes energy. Some people are better at it than others, and they seem to be a ball of love and understanding. Whereas others seem to be fending people off with an electric fence. Whether you are the love-ball or not, we need to refill this cup of empathy. It’s called self-care. It can take the shape of many different things; but it’s simply anything that you love doing.
Have you ever felt like everything is too-much? Work is making you cry, the kids are driving you mental, your partner is doing everything to annoy you. The pile of bills seems unpayable. The schedule that you usually do with no hassle; has turned into a mountain that you can’t climb?
One thing you must ask yourself when life feels like this; when was the last time I spent time on myself? If it wasn’t in the last 24 hours, stop what you are doing, and chill!
Some ideas of things to do for self-care:
Go for a walk
Meet up with a friend for coffee
Get a massage (of course!)
Drive to somewhere you love
Pretend to be a photographer, find cool textures and angles
Read a book
Binge-watch your favourite TV show
Take yourself to the movies
Cook something nice
Draw/paint a picture
Visit a day spa
Plan your next holiday
Get dressed up
Dance like no-one is watching
Sing like no-one is listening
Spend time outside playing with your kids (and/or fur-babies)
Get a pedicure/manicure
Have some news & phone-free time
Join a casual sports team
Take a bath
Go to the beach.
See what I mean; it is anything you love doing. Try to do one of those options each day. Add to the list, or rotate between three things if that’s all you like doing.
Learning to take care of yourself before it gets out-of-control; is a skill. Practice, practice, practice.
Treat empathy and self-care like a bank account: if you put more savings into your account than you are taking out; you will never run out. But if you keep withdrawing savings, and never putting any money back in – you will run out of savings, and even go into debt.